Still wondering why I wasn’t charged right away?

I want to continue now with some of the events that followed the crash and I will try to get back into my mindframe at the time. It may be jumbled so I ask that my sister helps by adding her point of view to explain situations better and even filling in things that I may have forgot. I may be repeating myself but the first thing after waking up I just remember seeing the faces of my family around me and I knew that what had happened was real. I’ll never forget what their faces looked like, a mix of unconditoional concern but more so I could read anger and resentment in their eyes. I had tested them again and again by not being the man I should have been and I felt in that moment that I was forsaken. The emotions are simply impossible to describe but I dont think I was capable of truly grasping how much suffering I had caused and felt numb. I said many times that it felt like I was on a different planet, lost, disconnected. My sister offered to let me recover at her house and my mother had flown in to help take care of me. The first few weeks passed by in a fog. I was unsure why they hadn’t charged me yet and felt despicable walking around, it seemed like people could see right through me. Fear and self-preservation were in my mind and I met with lawyers in hope of escaping prison time. The laywers wanted me in treatment, which I did, and wanted to bring in “experts” to refute the blood tests and say the procedure, testing, etc were faulty. I’m not knocking the lawyers though, it is their job to defend their client and I was the one asking them to get me out of this mess. For some reason, I still wasn’t charged with the crime but I see it as fate, it gave me time to realize what I had to do. When I was in alcohol treatment, the lawyers had asked me not to reveal to much about the crash because there was a chance some of the other patients or even counselors could be subpoened. So I was in treatment to deal with these issues but I couldn’t talk about them, at that point I knew the route I was taking was wrong. -Matthew Cordle

 

When Matt really woke up for the first time in the hospital and we were all standing around him, there were a lot of emotions. He is right in what he said and must have read it on our faces. We all love him so much it hurts, but at the same time he did something so terrible that none of us condone. My family is extremly close though and we all stick by each other no matter what. That’s what family means. We realized he was going to be (physcially) okay and panic mode set in. Many family meetings happened at the hospital, my house and over the next month as we tried to figure out what to do next. I would be lying if I didn’t encourage Matt to figure out a way out of this, use the law in his favor, get the most expensive lawyer. It was all for selfish reasons. We still don’t know why Matt wasn’t immediately arrested. Honestly after a month had gone by I seriously started to question if maybe they had forgotten? Maybe he wouldn’t be arrested? I would like to think my family is well educated so we knew better…..but had we not known I would have really thought that Matt had “gotten out of this mess”. Staying at my house I could see Matthew going thru many emotions. We all were. I started finding myself wanting to know more about Vincent and his family. Matt went to an outpatient rehab facility, my father drove him everyday. But hes right, it was pointless. He couldn’t talk about anything, which only frustrated and angered him. After spending a few weeks at my house, he moved up to our families river house. Although he was alone….we called him everyday and my grandparents stopped by everyday to check on him. He was just in state of limbo at this point.- Sarah Alasya (sister)  

 

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9 thoughts on “Still wondering why I wasn’t charged right away?

  1. Matt had a point about rehab if you cant be honest in there then it does no good to be there. It is understandable how Matt was feeling and going through any one with a heart would be feeling the same way wishing he could get the easy way out but in the same breath its not right for him to get it so easy when the family of the man (VINCENT) he hit and killed and his family that are hurting for there loss. Matt has a soul he knew he messed up and he knew he had to take the blame and fess up to his mistakes!! I give Matthew Cordle credit he didn’t hid he didn’t lie he stepped up and payed/paying for what he did and he will come out so much stronger and he will be the voice for drinking and driving he will turn his life around for the better….stay strong he/ you will be home soon

  2. I cannot imagine what a confusing time that must have been. There is nothing worse than uncertainty. Not knowing what is going to happen and feeling like you are in limbo while you wait. That combined with coming to terms with what had happened had to be a terrible burden to carry, not only for Matthew but for everyone who cared about him. I think Matthew’s perspective that the delay gave him time to understand what he had to do is probably right on target. I doubt the reason he was not charged right away will ever be known, but the way things have turned out has put Matthew back in control of his destiny. That may be hard to comprehend now as he sits in jail, but he is there because he stood up and did the right thing. He accepted and continues to accept responsibility. I hope that in the OASIS program, Matthew is finally able to be completely open about things and get the counseling and guidance he needs. While I get it that prison is not where he would choose to receive these services, I do hope it feels like a relief to be able to unburden himself fully with what he has carried around for all these months. Jennifer got it right when she said above that he will come out of this so much stronger and will be a better person. He has already had a profound impact on people’s lives. I’ve never been a heavy drinker, but I recently opted to take a cab to dinner with friends rather than drive because I knew we would have some drinks and I thought of Matthew. Stay strong Matthew!

  3. I recently ran into my estranged step-father when we both got out of our cars in the same parking lot at the same time. He reeked of beer. I thought of Matthew and how courageous the path he has chosen to face his fears, demons, shame and live his life for himself and also Vincent Canzani. I wanted to let the Cordle family that I sent Matthew a package containing a book, “The Road Less Traveled,” and it was returned to me. It said “Must be sent from an approved vendor.” Please let me know if you have any other suggestions to get it to him. If not, I will just continue to send notes/emails. Thank you.

  4. Nina, this link explains how to send packages to inmates in Ohio correctional institutions. http://www.drc.ohio.gov/web/mail_package.htm Essentially, you need to order the book through one of the approved vendors at that link and have them deliver it to him at the prison. Anyway, follow that link and it should explain everything. Hope that helps.

  5. Thanks so much, Ken. Very thoughtful of you. I contacted both approved vendors listed on the website you sent and, unfortunately, they do not offer any books. Thanks again for reaching out.

  6. Good news…called the prison directly and they said just had to come directly from the store itself and not an individual, i.e., amazon.com. Book is on its way!

    • Dear Nina,
      thank you so much for sending Matthew that book. Sorry I didn’t see your post sooner or I could have helped you with sending books. But you figured it out and that is great. I know Matt will be so happy to receive it and that you have taken the time to think of him. Our family is very grateful to you for your kindness and support.
      Kari, Matthews mother

      • I am happy to do it. The act of courage that he summoned to take responsibility for his actions, in such a profound and public way, is very meaningful to me. Please give him best when you see him next month.

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