Although this blog is for Matthew to give insight into his thoughts and what he is going through on a daily basis I am also going to include family and friends input from time to time. I know Matthew is the one that did something wrong- but I do feel people sometimes forget there is a family behind the person who committed the crime too. I will never know what my brother has to deal with from his actions but I can give you a look into how it affects our lives. Matt stated that his mood changes frequently just on a 15 minute call. This is so true. Most of the time he tries to stay positive. He doesn’t have much to look forward to right now at CRC so those 15 minute calls are precious to us all. It is so hard when he is having a bad day or feels “defeated”. One day he called and was talking about how everyone in the prison is getting out before him (or received a shorter sentence than him). He was very frustrated. Or another time he said he didnt know if he could do this. I told him he didn’t have a choice. What can you really say? We remind him of his message and that thru his story he can help others. I read to him comments everyone leaves for him and show him the support. It changes my day and mood too. Sometimes after I get off the phone with him I just cry. Even if it was a good call….I cry because I am happy of the person he has become but for selfish reasons because I don’t get to enjoy that person right now. My family and Matt’s girlfriend text daily to see if he called anyone, what mood he is in, anything new etc. I try to put myself in his shoes and imagine being locked in a cell with other criminals, some with scary crimes or have been to prison multiple times….having to stay in that cell for 22 hours a day with not much to do. I honestly think I would go crazy. I think that would be a test to anyone. But I continue to look forward to his calls, no matter what mood he is in. It truly reminds me to cherish those you love, even if it can only be during a 15 minute call.