Thoughts from Matt’s sister

Although this blog is for Matthew to give insight into his thoughts and what he is going through on a daily basis I am also going to include family and friends input from time to time. I know Matthew is the one that did something wrong- but I do feel people sometimes forget there is a family behind the person who committed the crime too. I will never know what my brother has to deal with from his actions but I can give you a look into how it affects our lives. Matt stated that his mood changes frequently just on a 15 minute call. This is so true. Most of the time he tries to stay positive. He doesn’t have much to look forward to right now at CRC so those 15 minute calls are precious to us all. It is so hard when he is having a bad day or feels “defeated”. One day he called and was talking about how everyone in the prison is getting out before him (or received a shorter sentence than him). He was very frustrated. Or another time he said he didnt know if he could do this. I told him he didn’t have a choice. What can you really say? We remind him of his message and that thru his story he can help others. I read to him comments everyone leaves for him and show him the support. It changes my day and mood too. Sometimes after I get off the phone with him I just cry. Even if it was a good call….I cry because I am happy of the person he has become but for selfish reasons because I don’t get to enjoy that person right now. My family and Matt’s girlfriend text daily to see if he called anyone, what mood he is in, anything new etc. I try to put myself in his shoes and imagine being locked in a cell with other criminals, some with scary crimes or have been to prison multiple times….having to stay in that cell for 22 hours a day with not much to do. I honestly think I would go crazy. I think that would be a test to anyone. But I continue to look forward to his calls, no matter what mood he is in. It truly reminds me to cherish those you love, even if it can only be during a 15 minute call.

– Sarah


5 thoughts on “Thoughts from Matt’s sister

  1. Sarah,

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Family and friends are so impacted by all of this. I used to be a citizen monitor for the prisons and jails here in IL. CRC time is the hardest and when someone is awaiting a bed in a facility with a program that many want the wait is often longer. Remind Matt that CRC will end and once he reaches the prison where he will serve his time that things will be somewhat easier. Going through the CRC time will help to see that. I encourage all of you to focus on short periods of time and not the 6.5 years. I’ve been to write to Matt but wasn’t sure a letter from a total stranger would mean much, but perhaps I will. I hope you keep posting and know that you, your family and Matt have many people praying for and sending encouragement your way.

  2. Dear Ken,
    I am Matt’s mother and I know Matt would welcome a letter from you. Your support and experience with the system can only encourage and help him! Just reading your reply to my daughter provided a light of hope that it will get easier! Thank you!

  3. Hi. This is Ken. I sent Matt a letter through the JPay system because it seemed so convenient. The system says it was sent. Just wondering if you know if it was delivered. I haven’t heard back, which is fine but would like to know if he got the letter. If not, I will mail it via the regular postal system.

  4. Hello Ken,
    I will ask him and let you know for sure. I do know that he doesn’t have much time out of his cell right now (2 hours a day) which gives him no time to reply to jpay emails but he may have read it. hopefully he is getting transferred soon and will have more time to reply to any jpays. He has a lot of time now to reply to written letters but he should be getting moved any day now. I’ll keep you updated! Thank you for the support!!

  5. Thanks. Again, I have no concern about when Matt gets back to me, just want to know he got what I sent. If he did, I will write again. So glad he is being transferred soon. This has been a long time to be on lockdown and in limbo.

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